Clatterheaded

New word to describe the busyness in my brain.

I think I just made up a word—Clatterheaded. It perfectly describes the noise in my brain as I go about my day. Many creative people say they have ADHD, whether diagnosed or not, and I am one such artist.

Opening my brain for you to see the noise

Here is a true depiction of my thoughts while I went about my morning:

Walking the dog and I’m thinking about my students and the new unit in Social Studies, will they all be able to participate?, and if not, how do I adapt, and will families be able to support during the interview portion and now I’m home and I sit down to draw; reminding myself to pay Aidan’s swim instructor, while pre-composing a letter to parents about the new project we are doing, and thinking about my friend needing to apply for UK citizenship because it appears Trump’s anti-immigration tactics are appealing to some leaders there, and now I want to make a coffee, but need to get these thoughts down while I have them—and then checking on two of the survivors of the Tumbler Ridge shooting (Maya Gebala and Paige Hoekstra) to see how they are doing, and following a rabbit hole of information, saying a prayer for the families, and thinking about the kids and teachers and staff, and how their lives will forever be affected by the tragedy, and then thinking of the Montreal Massacre in 1989 and how I was in a different university at the time of the shooting, but it still had a profound affect on me and my friends and every year on the anniversary, we say the names of the women who were killed, and wow, this is a lot darker than I began with— all the while the statement, “I am so clatterheaded today” is prancing about the surface of things—so much so that I think, “well heck, maybe I’ll share this notion with the universe!”

Is this ping-pong game of confusion normal? Or, am I truly neurodivergent? You don’t need to answer that.

ADHD superpower with downsides

In some ways, I think ADHD could be my superpower because it helps me be creative and quirky. If you need someone to brainstorm and ideate with—I’m your girl. The downside is that it is only 9:52AM and I am already exhausted!

The other downside is needing to make smart and timely decisions for the Social Studies unit, and now I am starting to feel fear creep in that I won’t get it done in time, and that makes me feel stuck to the spot. Avoidance and paralysis are a very real part of my daily activities. I really admire people who don’t get stuck! I wonder how they do it?

Some strategies to unstick myself

• When paralysis comes, I get curious: what am I afraid of?

• I remind myself that I am NOT afraid of hard work, and that I can do hard things.

• I chunk my task into smaller bits.

• I acknowledge that it is okay to do a lousy first draft.

• I set a timer and take a break. But also try to sit and produce during that time span.

• I try a brain dump by writing down all the clatter to free up brain space.

• I try to work in the mornings when I am most energized.

• I often lie on the floor with my legs up the wall, and meditate, or listen to an audiobook. Sometimes I doze off for a few minutes, but feel refreshed after.

• Daily, I listen to an audiobook or podcast — this pauses the clatter and acts as a reset.

• Also daily, I sit down to doodle and the thoughts come more gently and calmly, and I get a sense of accomplishment if the illustration works out, and just a little break if it does not. I do not put pressure on myself because illustration is supposed to be joyful.

What have I created lately?

Well, I thought it might be fun to do a series about the things grandparents say. Here are my first two:

Neither of these grandparents look like mine…thought I’d better say that. They are my imaginary grandparents—one is stylish and quirky, the other is cozy and warm.

I also had fun playing with the two illustrations below. The Riding Hood character resembles my illustrator friend Jana in Glasgow. The girl with the bear cub felt like a vintage illustration, but the really fun bit was creating the little poem! I just love the little cub and I was delighted with the opening line—perhaps because “budge a bear cub” is fun to say. I should share it with my Grade Ones as their homeroom teacher is doing a fun money unit right now.

Reading? Watching?

Have you read anything good lately? I have worked my way through Mick Herron’s Slough House/Slow Horses book series. I didn’t think I’d get so interested in spy stories, but his writing is just so good! I have also been watching the show.

We were in Winnipeg recently, and James picked this remarkable book up:

I have already used it in my Social Studies class! The readings are just the right length for a read aloud, and the messages are so positive and powerful, they are great for supporting social-emotional needs—highly recommended!

Well, that’s it for now. I hope your day is going well—and if you have any strategies for getting unstuck and dealing with clatterheaded overwhelm, I’d love to hear them🙃